Abdullah: Healthcare will be better if we show a little kindness

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When I walk around downtown Ottawa and see drivers being intolerant of pedestrians, or wealthy people ignoring those asking for help, I wonder why ignorance, selfishness and privilege are so rampant in so many aspects of our lives today. Why do we create mental barriers between ourselves and the compassion we all crave?

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Ignorance allows us to ignore the struggles of others, selfishness blinds us to collective well-being, and entitlement breeds resentment when our desires are not met before others. This attitude undermines trust and reduces our ability to come together as a community, as a civil society.

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However, as I have learned over the years as a family physician, there is an antidote to this disconnect: kindness. Through listening, small gestures and advocacy, we can counteract these negative traits and create a more caring and supportive society. This is what I do in my medical practice.

Listening is the first act of kindness. When patients come into my office, they bring with them more than just physical ailments; they carry stories of fear, frustration and sometimes hopelessness. Listening is my way of showing that their concerns matter, even in a health care system that often feels impersonal. For example, I have found that allowing someone to freely share their story can be as healing as any recipe.

Small gestures can save lives. A follow-up call to evaluate a patient after a difficult diagnosis or a moment of encouragement during a difficult treatment can mean everything. These gestures remind people that they are not alone, which is sometimes the most important part of healing.

Grace in the face of disappointment. It’s no secret that the healthcare system can be frustrating for both patients and healthcare providers. I have encountered angry or depressed patients who felt abandoned by the system. Instead of reacting defensively, I try to meet their frustration with empathy, knowing that their anger often stems from fear or despair. Responding with kindness in these moments can transform interactions and build trust.

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Advocacy for those who feel powerless. I regularly encounter patients who have difficulty accessing the care they need due to financial or systemic barriers. Whether it’s connecting them with accessible resources or complex policies that perpetuate inequality, I view advocacy as an extension of the care I provide. This is my way of supporting those who feel powerless in the face of overwhelming systemic bias.

Teamwork is a form of kindness. From nurse practitioners to pharmacists, administrative staff and allied health professionals, everyone plays a critical role in ensuring the best outcomes for patients. I have seen first-hand how simple acts of kindness within a team—like offering to help on a busy day—can improve both morale and patient care. This collaborative spirit reminds me that kindness is not limited to interactions with patients; it is a principle that enriches any relationship.

When we actively practice unrequited kindness, we resist the ignorance, selfishness, and privilege that threaten to divide us. By listening, showing a little care, and advocating for justice, we remind ourselves and others of our shared humanity. Kindness is not just politeness; it is a powerful force for healing and connection in both healthcare and everyday life. I can do better. We can all do better.

Dr. Alikhan Abdullah is a comprehensive family physician practicing in Manotick, a board member of the College of Family Physicians of Canada, and director of the Longitudinal Leadership Training Program at the University of Ottawa Medical Education.

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